Impressions of ‘being-there’ in Two Colleges of Further Education where the majority of the student body is not-White.

 

 

In this paper, I hope to choose an area of psychotherapeutic literature which is relevant to my own practice, and compare and contrast my own understanding of student’s experience of ‘being-there’ in two different further education establishments in a way that emphasises two points:

 

1.      That counselling and psychotherapy is an important and integral part of a young person’s learning process; and,

 

2.      That counselling and psychotherapy in educational establishments where there are a significant number of young people with ethnic identities that are not-White need to address the possibility that it, too, can contribute to the development of the ‘disaffected adult’ where the College fails to acknowledge the negative of experiences ‘being-there’ can have in-relation with it’s students.

 

Unfortunately, existential constituent of the psychotherapeutic literature that interests me, (i.e. importance of race in interpersonal relations), seems very sparse to say the least, but however, I hope to apply the central tenets of Existential theory and practice to the description of students’ experiences of being in two different Colleges. By this, I mean Husserl’s phenomenology, or psychological-phenomenological reduction, which aims to provide as full a description of the phenomena, (i.e. in this case the sense of powerlessness within educational institutions), as possible without intellectualising about the phenomena in the first instance. I seek to describe the student’s experience of being-there in college without drawing on my own experience and intellect to determine what this might mean for myself, nor the student. I rely totally on the student’s interpretations of what is happening for them, without evaluating the validity of these interpretations for myself, or any one else (Husserl, 1990/1970). This places students’ experiences in context, (i.e. the College of Further Education), and allows for further exploration which addresses their concerns in environmental, social, personal, and spiritual modes of existence (van Deurzen-Smith, 1997).  These subjective accounts of experience are always retrospective, but overtime, it transpired that it was what past subjective experience might mean for the student as s/he projects him/her self into future time and space that seems to cause him/her concern (May, 1994, p65-71).

It must be said that students have been referred to me, as the student counsellor because they themselves, or their tutors, have discovered that their ways of being-in-the-world appear to be interfering with the student’s learning process. In other words, someone in authority has decided that the student is behaving in ways, which do not allow the student to learn whatever is necessary to complete the course, satisfactorily. The College decides what the criteria for satisfactory completion are, and the student must then decide whether s/he chooses to comply. Students are required to confirm. They are no more ‘free’, in the Kierkegaardian sense, as they might wish to believe, than anyone else in the Colleges. We are required to exist within the parameters set by the college, parameters that bind us all. Learning where those parameters or boundaries of existence are within the college environment is work we must all consider and about which we must all make choices. In so doing, we may experience what Boss refers to as ontology guilt and by this I mean, guilt for not being authentic in-relation with the world-around, our friends and family, ourselves, nor indeed, Allah (Boss, 1957).

During my encounters with students, I hope to offer students the opportunity to look closely at the way they are in-relation with the College, their peers and members of staff, themselves, and with the goals in life. I might illustrate this delineation and interrelatedness (Merleau-Ponty, 1945; Jaspers; 1968), by referring to the experience of one of my client. The student is a 17 year old, Bengali-speaking young woman who presents escorted by her tutor for counselling. She begins by telling me about her experience being with another student, and describing this experience as being emotionally distressing. She said that, ‘whenever she passes this student she is met with jeers and laughing, and she does not know why’. She says that, ‘she knows the students who seems to be inciting this response but she doesn’t understand ‘why’ he’s doing it’. Already, the client has decided that her experience of being there with these other students, one of which she knows is both intentional and purposeful. I enquire as to how she came to know this one particular student to whom she seemed to referring to as the source of her discontent. The client said that, ‘they used to talk a lot at secondary school, and that she couldn’t understand why he was behaving in this way to her when they use to be such good friends’.

So, we have a situation that has arisen in the environment that is the College.  The situation has arisen with her peers, one of whom is known to the client. The client says that her experience of being with this particular group of students affects her in a negative way, and that this is due to the difference in her experience of being with one other student in time and place. The client suggests that in spite of her efforts to find out ‘why’ this group of students are treating her this way, she is powerlessness to effect change (Hoogendijk, 1988), and she goes on to suggest that the situation is not likely to improve in the short or medium term. Here, the student has created for herself a situation of dread as she projects herself into the future. She fears the future, and what it might hold for her, and in an attempt avoid this prospective experience or potential nothingness, she has sought help and support from me (Sartre, 1956).

This for me, provides the perfect opportunity to allow the student who is my client to think for herself, and to learn from her own experiences. Student counselling takes on educational role in that it allows students to review the prevailing situations in which they find themselves with the view of ‘becoming’ someone who will be better able to realise their own potential in a given context in time and place (Heidegger, 1927+). So, to assume a position of powerlessness without considering all possible options denies the possibility that we ourselves may not be able to see all the possibilities that lay before us. During our counselling encounters, it might be possible for both the client and counsellor to look more closely at a situation or issue, and arrive at possibilities that neither the client, nor the counsellor, would have arrived at in isolation of each other (Buber, 1929/1947).

However, as a student counsellor, I have been surprised by the extent to which different educational establishments seem to differ in the extent to which they appear to embrace the idea of counselling and psychotherapy as part an integral part of the learning process. This view is based on the assumption that learning about oneself in-relation with the world-around must surely prove beneficial to society as a whole; not least of all, because it allows to young people to know that it is alright to seek help and support in situation where they themselves can see no way out. Working in two different educational establishments at the same time, has given me as a counsellor the opportunity to gain some insight into the way different students experience ‘being-there’, phenomenologically, and the consequences that might have for the educational institution as a whole.

Each College contained a significant number of students whose skin colour was not-White. At one College, I was able to work of students from both African and Afro-Caribbean backgrounds, and at the other College, the student body was mainly ‘Bengali-speaking’. I use the term ‘Bengali-speaking’ as opposed to ‘Asian’ as I believe that the term ‘Asian’ does not clearly delineate this group of students, enough. Students herald from parts of Asia that speak Bengali, (i.e. Bangladesh, Gujurat, Bengal, etc.,), as the main language, and as such there is a commonality of culture and ethnicity that appears to be communicated through their use of this language (Vygotsky, 1960; Derrida, 1978; Lacan 1977).

There were both similarities, and differences within, and between, both groups of students’ experiences of being in College, but what struck me most were the similarities, and differences, between their experience of being in College. In both Colleges, students’ experience of being-there seemed to reflect the integrity of the organisation that provides their education. Where the organisation seemed to be experiencing organisational difficulties, very similar difficulties seemed to be reflected in the students’ perception of being-there. So, for instance, in one institution, students would complain about their experience of the College, (i.e. listing organisational or structural problems with which they found difficult to cope). These students, too, seemed to identify areas of their own personal life in-relation with they own families and friends, which they found difficult to cope.  The College has become part of their lived-worlds, and the students seek to influence the College in ways that do not at first seem intentional; nor, purposeful. Concomitantly, the same students seek to effect change in the structure and organisation of their families, and/or friendships in ways, which do not seem intentional; nor even purposeful in the first instance. So, I ask myself the question, do those students who present for counselling with issues of marginalisation, isolation, or alienation reflect their experience of being-there in the College, and is that experience of being-there indicative of something with which the College itself, grapples?

On observation, it would seem that many of the students seem to associate with those who are they believe are most like themselves. Students themselves have said during our encounters that they tended to associate with those who share the views on dress, music, television, gender, programmes, sport, etc, and can so do in a language that is, also, shared (Sherif et al, 1961). This social delineation seems quite marked in both Colleges where the majority of students are not-White. Students whose parentage, and heritage appear to be the same, tend to spend most of their time with each other. So, students whose parents appear to be working class, and who share a common language, are more likely to associate with each other than those who do not share the same socio-economic status, and/or language. Whilst everyone else seems to be left to make their own association as best, they can. I am reminded of Paul Gilbert’s (1992, p471) evolution of powerlessness and prospect of immanent depression. To this end, I set this aside, and strive to discover for myself, meaning in all these subjective experiences.

Students left to make their own way in College seem to be either: (a) isolated and marginalised by the College; students being a component part of the College; or, (b) they isolate and marginalise themselves in-relation to factors about which they say they are powerless to control, or influence. Exploring this experience in-relation with individual students or groups of students seems important where the majority of the student body present a dominant culture within the College that is not shared by minority groupings.

 So, Black students of Afro-Caribbean origin seemed to share a view of their own existence that appeared to be very similar to that experienced by White students whose parents were of similar socio-economic status. All students’ talk about having gone to the same secondary schools, living in similar housing accommodation, and spoke using a language of shared meaning for themselves as a group. The kinds of personal problems that were described and clarified within our therapeutic encounters did not appear to vary, significantly, between these groups of students. But, I did find that a number of students of African origin, who expressed concerns being-there in-relation with both Black students of Afro-Caribbean origin, and White counterparts, also, expressed concerns about feeling isolated and alienated as a consequence of what they seemed to perceive as being ‘cultural differences’. Clearly, this aspect of being-in-the-world, (i.e. that of social comparison) (Festingner et al, 1950), needed further investigation as social comparison seemed to be important for students and seemed to give rise to many of the difficulties students experienced whilst at College.

Here, I am reminded of Locke’s (1975) comments on the importance cultural difference in the process of human understanding. Culture it would seem poses a number of possibilities and limitations which may or may not be realised by individual students. So, African students seemed to associate together according to shared language and/or country of origin in much the same way as ‘Bengali-speaking’ students seemed to do; irrespective of skin colour. However, the only significant difference I could find between the students of African origin and ‘Bengali –speaking’ peoples, and those students of Afro-Caribbean origin and white counterparts was their response to familial expectation that they should do well as students. By this, I mean that the kinds of issues raised were very similar, and the extent to which such issues could affect their ability to study did not appear to be, significantly, different. And yet, these groups of students seemed to know very little about each other, and did not socialise to any great extent: not even in the classroom.

Personally, I was struck by the way students whose parents were from Africa or the ‘Middle East’ described their experience of be-ing at both secondary school, and the College. Many students who seemed to speak as if they had not been born in the UK, but who dressed, differently, from the majority of other students would often described their experience of be-ing at College as ‘a marginalising experience’. These students would talk about not being invited to participate in the activities of some students. These students seemed to prefer to associate only with those who appeared to speak their language, or practice the same religion, and reflect their experience of being ignored both inside and outside of the classroom. Students spoke about the way the world affected them as something done unto them, about which they had no control (Sartre, 1955). I might illustrate this sense of marginalisation by referring to one student of Yemen origin who spoke about the way both Black and white students at school would make fun of the shape of his head (see Appendix A).

This student had had described to me in great detail the incident in which he had incurred the physical damage to his head. He described how he had tolerated the insults, the harassment, the jeering all through secondary school. He described how, both he, and his older brother, had developed a mental illness that was diagnosed, and treated at secondary school, and how; when he remembered to, he continued to take the medication prescribed whilst at College. Most pertinent to us both, seemed to be the possibility that in spite of all this toleration on his part, he still felt ostracised; alienated and isolated at College in ways that he was powerless to effect change. Gilbert (1992) describes this kind personality as one which strives cooperate and any inhibition of this motivation tends to feelings of powerless, anxiety, and depression. He, also, described how; even now at College, he could not speak openly about his experience terrorist activity in his own country, and how he had incurred the damage to his embodied self in this way.

You could argue that those who would harass, and torment this student were not familiar with the means by which this particular student had acquired the head injuries. Why should they know? But that isn’t important. What seemed to be important to both student, and subsequently, myself was the feeling of being isolated and alienated as a result of something over which he had had no control, and about which, he could have done nothing. The client’s physical and cultural differences seemed to invite persecution, and yet he was not responsible of the presence of these differences, nor was he able to confront the world-around without wanting to disengage from it. Being-there for this person continued to be most difficult. His physicality seemed to stand in the way of true authentic communication with his peers in ways which he felt that he was powerless to change. The anxiety and despair that he experienced in-relation with his peers; when projected into the future turned to despair, despair which had resulted in his being referred to a psychiatrist under whose care he has been since the age of eleven.

This experience of powerlessness in-relation with the world-around, seems to be reflected in the life stories of many students who present for counselling. Even when I visited tutorial groups to identify, clarify, and describe; an as yet undetermined issue or concern, students of all denominations seem to speak in ways that reflected their powerlessness in-relation to, and with, their lived-worlds. On a physical level, students would speak about the sense of powerlessness they felt in-relation with the organisation, (i.e. organisational difficulties with staffing, room allocation, lack of information from the College, etc). On a social level, they would talk about the way their academic time-tables conflicted with their social lives, and the way they were powerless to change the time-table to fit around their social lives. On a personal level, students would speak about the difficulty the experienced being with themselves. The uncertainty of being confronted with someone else’s view of oneself and wondering how s/he might come to such a viewpoint which appears to differ so greatly from one’s own continues to invoke anxiety and the desire to hide within oneself (Kierkegaard (1843/1954). On a spiritual level, students would speak about the relation with the ‘ideals’ that they hold, and the emotional difficulty they might experience in finding that other students may never share the same views about the world. I might illustrate this last point by referring to another client of mine.

This client is Bengali-speaking young man. Born in Bangladesh, but came to England when he was very young. He went to secondary school in England, and was not doing a course at College with the view to going onto University, eventually. This student presented for counselling having experienced what he described as ‘an unprovoked physical assault whilst on the way to College’. The client reported the incident to the police, but had heard nothing further. He had taken some time off College because of the incident, and his tutor had advised him to seek counselling when he did return.

Since, then we have moved on to talk about his experience of being with his peers at College, and his friends where he lives. He refers to his friends where he lives as the ‘area boys’. Both groups of friends are Bengali-speaking, and he does not associate with boys from different culture or ethnic backgrounds. This client seems to be faced with a dilemma, which despite his efforts he seems unable to reconcile within himself, and in-relation with his friends. “Cultural shift” seems to have resulted in his friends not acting like ‘good Muslims’. By this, I mean his friends seem to engage in a lot of activities that would be frowned upon by the elders of the client’s community. The significance of this is that the client’s own father is well respected in the local mosque and the client fears that stories of his activities will get back to his parents and they will disapprove. He says:

 

‘’My parents don’t want me to hang around with the ‘bad boys’….it would be good if they went to the mosque to ask Allah’s forgiveness, but all the want to do is smoke, play pool, and drive cars…I cant get them to go to the mosque…I have tried asking them to come smoke a cigarette behind the mosque, hoping that when they have finished they might go in to pray, but they wont…….some will say that they will come to ‘Jummah’ on Friday at College but they never come……’’

 

In this discourse you can hear how the student struggles with what he believes his parents would want him to be, and what his friends prefer to be. This is an ongoing discussion in which he would find difficult to engage outside of the counselling session. He has a different way of being that appears to be dependent which group of people he is with. His identity is grounded in heritage: a culture based on religion (Natanson, 1981). He seems reluctant to give this heritage up for fear of losing his identity in the process. He searches for the middle ground, by inviting his friends to participating in their cultural heritage. They have refused, and yet he continues to be confronted with different ways of being in the course of his everyday life in which seem dependent on him giving up his heritage, and his religion. He is, clearly, reluctant to so do, and this battle is seems to be reflected in the descriptions of his everyday experiences during our encounters (Jaspers, 1968).

Such factors are important because they reflect the students experience being-there in a particular stated context. Mostly, students seem to speak about the way the world-around has affected they ability to take action-in-the-world in a negative way. Re-interpreting this experience such that students become placed firmly at the centre of their experiences can be very difficult to hear: for not only the student, but also the counsellor. But, such an approach could offer the student the opportunity to re-construe his/her lived-world in a way where s/he is not always the victim of somebody else’s actions-in-the-world. By this I mean that, the powerlessness becomes a property of the circumstances or context in which the students finds themselves, and not directly attributable to the students themselves.

So, in-relation with those students who presented with issues arising out of organisational constraints for instance, together we could explore their experience of being in College, itself. We could become to see the College as being a organisational structure that appeared to be experiencing the same constraints as the students themselves. And like the students, the College seemed helpless to effect change in a positive way. (I consider the organisation to be ‘a living breathing structure’ in that it ‘lives and dies’; and not, merely as ‘an inanimate object’). The moral question as to whether any of this was ‘good’, and ‘right’ was not entered into; suffice to say that it seemed to be a shared experienced rather than merely one where the students felt, persecuted.

The students’ spoke as if they intended to then, persecute, the institution by raising complaints with the College; and I must admit, it would have been my duty as College counsellor help and support the students in so doing. However, such procedures would have been futile in this instance, and the College’s limitations in this matter had been reached. They could not provide any more resources, for a number reasons, which I have no desire to go in to here. Suffice to say that I acted with intention and purpose in asking these groups of students to consider the possibilities for themselves in-relation with myself. If, these were the prevailing circumstances, and they had experienced emotional difficulties as consequences of these prevailing circumstances, what did they think/feel was possible, and what did not? Here, emphasis has been changed from one where the College is being asked to change the students’ experience of being-there, to one where the students are being asked to consider how they themselves might change their experience of being-there.

I speak now as if I am an innocent bystander in this process, but really, I should include myself in the group’s deliberations. I am indeed an integral part of any decision-making that takes place during this time, and will almost certainly contribute to any discussion on students’ possible actions in the world, thereafter, simply by my being-there. I must accept this responsibility, or remove myself from the discussion. It transpired that the students could do much to change their experience of being-there without relying on the College to the same extent as they had done, previously. Together, we drew on our own personal resources, and decided that we take a much more proactive role in the learning process as a group: rather than assume the position of powerlessness in-relation with the College.

So far, I have spoken about powerlessness as, if, it were a problem; a presenting issue, about which there were moral implications. I know not whether being powerless is a ‘good’ or a ‘bad’ way to be in the world, but this way of being-in-the-world does seem to invite particular responses on four dimensions of existence. I might refer to those students whose worldview is such that their experience of their lived-world is one of bullying and harassment. Some students accused of bullying seemed to think that their actions-in-the-world were ‘funny’. ‘We were only having a laugh’, they say. But how is it possible to view the same event in such very different ways? In-relation with the students, a number of different incidents involving different members of the groups of students, is explored. From such explorations, I point out the possibility that some of us, (i.e. we are in a group discussion), seem to find this way of being-in-the-world ‘funny’, whilst others of us seem to become so offended that we isolate and alienate ourselves in-relation with our peers. I say:

‘’Some students appear to have become victims of somebody else’s cruel behaviour, and in so doing, try very hard to avoid and escape from this behaviour. Some students have complained to the College, the College seems to have responded by victimising the whole group; and yet, there are some of us who are unchanged by this turn of events.’’

 

I reiterate comments about the way security seem to be paying particular attention to the activities of the tutorial group as a whole. I point out the way in which some students appear to have shared experiences of other teachers and tutors. I reflect back to the group the way their relationship with the tutor, (i.e. who is always an integral part of any tutorial group), has deteriorated. And ‘how’ she, as an integral part of the tutorial group seems to have become victimised by the both the group and the College. Clearly, the College’s perception of the students has become such that it would seem to be very difficult to victimise one aspect of the group without the whole group becoming victimised by the College.

Again, the idea of powerlessness seems to have been transferred away from any one individual, to something that is shared in-relation with his/her lived-world. Th group comes to ‘know’ itself as a living breathing entity; inextricable from each of its members until the group decides that it will not longer wishes to exist for itself. The group may choose to do this directly, or indirectly. However, the significance of each of its members plays a very big role in the perception of the group by the rest of the College. The tutorial group is as much in-relation with the College as each of its members. This takes on different significance when we consider the nature of that group. How many of this group does not originate from the UK? In Colleges where the population reflects the communities in which the College is situated, the groups’ experience of being-there can have important consequences for the College concerned.

 

Conclusions:

At the outset, I have portrayed student counselling as an integral part of the learning process. I have attempted to demonstrate how this might be possible drawing on my own understanding of the literature and experience of being-there with student in College and hearing the life stories about how they struggle with life’s everyday mysteries. This struggle does not appear to be experienced in the same way by everybody. Difference in life experiences, and ability to utilise our own personal resources, all contribute to our ability to grapple with these mysteries, constructively. All this ‘knowledge’ however is set aside during counselling until, such time as light is shed on the issue, presented. To assume that I know enough about the way one particular student reflects the cultural diversity of the community to which we assume s/he belongs, invites interpretations which bear little reflection on what is happening from the student’s own perspective. Most learning occurs when both the clients, and the counsellor, approach a presenting issue from a point of naivety. We both wait to see what materialises and bring to bear our understanding to the situation in ways, which will hopefully enable the student to cope better with this presenting issue. It seems most worthwhile to assume, nothing.

It appears that the very nature of the experience of different students within any given community, and within any given College, becomes persecutory on a number of different levels, (i.e. environmental, social, personal, and spiritual). Students’ experience of being powerless to effect change in College, may be reflective of their experience of being powerless to effect change in relation with their families, and/or their friends. This may be reflective of existential guilt resulting in avoidance and escape from the responsibility goes with their freedom to be (Kierkegaard, 1900/1954; Sartre, 1956; Tillich, 1952). Students of African and Bengali Speaking origin seem to carry views on how they should relate to authority, differently, to Black students of African Caribbean origin. However, being confronted with different viewpoints within College can challenge such personal views and opinions, forcing some students to confront their existential angst as they consider redefining themselves in-relation with their peers, their families, and the College.

I assume that it is too difficult to hold both views within the same time and space without inviting loss of personal integrity (Davidson et al, 1989, p357). It is further argued that unless educational establishments’ are prepared to acknowledge the way students compare their experiences of being-there with students within, and between other Colleges (Sartre 1945; Festinger et al, 1950), they can not appreciate the significance of their contribution to the process in which disaffected adolescents, become the disaffected adults of the future.

 

 

 

References:

Buber, M., (1929) Between Man and Man. (trans. R.G. Smith). London; Kegan Paul 1947

Davidson, J., Zisook, S., Giller, E., and helms, M., (1989) Symptoms of Interpersonal Sensitivity In Depression. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 30, pp357-368.

Derrida, J (1967) Writing and Difference, trans. 1978.

Chicago, IL: Univeristy of Chicago Press.

Festinger, L., Back, K., Schachter, S., Kelley, H., and Thibaut, D., (1950) Theory and Experiment in Social Communication. Ann Arbor, Mich: Research Centre for Group Dynamics Institute for Social Research.

Gilbert, P., Depression: the evolution of powerlessness. Hove, East Sussex: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Ltd.

Heidegger, M. (1927) Being and Time, trans J. Macquarrie and E.S. Robinson.

London: Harper and Row.

Hoogendijk, A. (1988) cited In, E. van Deuzen Smith. Everyday Mysteries; existential dimensions of psychotherapy. London: Routledge.

Husserl, E., (1900) Logical Investigations. (Trans. J.N. Finlay). London: Routledge 1970.

Jaspers, K., (1951) The Way to Wisdom. Trans, R. Manheim.

New Haven CT and London: Yale University Press.

Jaspers, K., (1968) The Phenomenological Approach to Psychopathology.

British Journal of Psychiatry, 114, 1313-23.

Lacan, J. (1977) Ecrits: A selection. London: Tavistock.

Locke, J., (1975) An Essay Concerning human Understanding. (ed.) C.B. Macpherson. Indianopolis: Hackett publishing Co.

May, R.,(1994) Contributions to Existential Analysis. In, Rollo May, E. Angel, H. Ellenberger (eds.) Existence. New Jersey: Jason Aronson Inc. Ch2

Natanson, M., (1981) The Problem of Others in Being and Nothingness. . P.A. Schlipp (ed) In, The Library of Living Philosphers, VolXVI, The Philosophy of Jean Paul Sartre. La Salle IL: Open Court.

Sartre, J-P., (1945) The Respectful Prostitute. Tr. Kitty Black. In Stuart Gilbert (ed.) No Exit and Three Other Plays. New York: Vintage.

Satre, J-P, (1955) Being and Nothingness: a phenomenological essay on ontology Tr. Hazel Barnes. New York: Washington

Sherif, M., Harvey, Harvey, OJ, White B.J., Hood, WR., Sherif, C., (1961)

Intergroup Conflict and Cooperation: The Robbers’ Cave Experiment.

Norman, OK: klahoma Book Exchange.

Tillich, P., (1952) The Courage to be, New Haven CT: Yale University Press.

Van Deurzen-Smith, E., (1997) Everyday Mysteries: existential dimensions of psychotherapy. London: Routledge.

Vygotsky, LS. (1978) Mind in Society. Cambridge Mass.: Harvard University press. M. Cole, V. John-Steiner, S. Scribner, and Souberman (eds.) (1978)


Appendix A

Case Study:

Abib 17year old Yemini student, who was studying GNVQ ICT Foundation with key skills. He said that, ‘he was finding the course work easy. He said that he was struggling with his ‘PowerPlan’ design’, but his tutor was helping him with that and offering appraisal for my efforts. In my spare time, I play football for ‘Boramwood’, and at the ‘Sobell Centre’. I, also, play football with other Muslim lads after prayers at ‘Finsbury Park’. He lived with his parent, four younger brothers and 2 sisters in a three bed-roomed house. His family came to England from Russia in 1977. He thinks he has stepbrothers in Russia. His father was a qualified eye doctor in Somalia, but was currently working as a ‘Somali Community Co-ordinator’. He worked as a technician for as short while, but found the situation in which he worked to frustrating. He’s happy doing the work he was now doing. Things were all right at home; no trouble at all since his older brother was asked to leave home. His older bother now lives in hostel, and visits the family home at the weekends. Abib described his father as encouraging me, but his mother, (i.e. half Arab/Somalia) can be strict.

Abib was waiting for me to arrive first thing one the morning, but I told him that I could only see him there and then as I had not made an appointment for him at this time, and I had to be somewhere else. He accepted my explanation. I assumed that I he got what ever he had off his chest, he would be able to cope with his everyday life until I could see him for an increased length of time.

As he began to tell the events of the weekend, I began to realise that he was very chaotic in his thoughts, monotonous, pressured in speech, rambling, and clearly struggling to be there in the moment with me.

He spoke of a wedding in had attended, and it seemed to concern him that he had not told his father where he was going, nor had his father been invited. He said that he had been thrown out of the family home by his father at approximately midnight when he returned home from this wedding. He said that, ‘he had , aggravated his parents by asking them for money, and said that he needed to find his own means of earning money’. He presented names, and telephone numbers, of potential employers (e.g. First Bowl, Books, etc., ), and seemed determined to find work, and support himself within his own household. However, he complained about his sister wanted to take over his room and he needed to reclaim this room for himself and establish a quiet place for him to study in isolation of his family.

I grew concerned at the way he spoke, and communicated his thoughts. They seemed complete in themselves and yet the propensity for overlap between different events/situations seemed increased by the proximity of one scene to the next in speech. I asked him when he had last taken his medication (Respirodone). Abib said that, ‘he took one quarter of tablet two or three times a day’. I was alarmed at his inability to say how much he was supposed to take, and at what time. I asked him, ‘when he was next due to take his medication?’ He said that, ‘he had not taken his medication this morning, and that he would go home and take his midday medication’. I reinforced the view that he really needed to take his medication at the moment. He seemed to agree that there were times when he needed to take his medication, and he seemed knowledgeable too about then his health was not deteriorating. I asked him to come back at 12:30hrs as I had to be elsewhere. He agreed to come back at the appointed time.

When I did meet him again, I asked him whether he had managed to take his medication’. I, also, asked what else he ha done since we last met. He said that’ ‘he had gone to the GP to get a form to apply for a Freedom Pass’. He said that, ‘he had given up on this idea because he had been told that the Freedom Pass was for old people and people who were disabled, and they would not give him a form’. This seemed a fair explanation as why it might be unlikely for Abib to get a Freedom Pass, but such explanations did not take into account Abib possible chronic mental illness.  In any case, he had not been able to secure a form to apply for Freedom Pass, and he was resolved to applying for a students pass instead.

We moved to talk about his psychiatric diagnosis, (i.e. manic depression), and how he came to be in this way. He had spoke previously about being diagnosed at ‘Holloway School for Boys’ by visiting physician (Dr Robinson). He talked about experiencing verbal abuse from school children of all other races. He said that, ‘they would  comment about the shape of his head, the colour of his skin, the fact that he was of  African origin as opposed to African-Caribbean origin’. He spoke of how he was aware of the difference in his grades before year 6, and after year 6. He seemed to unable to control the deterioration in his grades after year 6, and rolled them off his tongue as he spoke as if they were an inevitable consequence of his social experiences at that time.

What seemed interesting about this experience was the similarities in experience between two different period in his life. He mentioned that, ‘he his family had been wealthy and well connected with government bodies in Somalia, and Yemen’. He spoke of a life at this time, where there was much travel and visiting of family and relations in different countries without too much concern for cost. He spoke of the time when he and his brother would bully other Sudanese children, and how this period was tainted by some sought of terrorist incident in a hotel. He said, ‘he had suffered a head injury whilst living in a hotel that belonged to another member of his family, and how his brother had defended him with firearms’. He spoke of the pain, and disfigurement of his head, the fear, and being taunted by other kids because of the appearance of his head after this incident.

I did not press him for greater details that offer might offer more clarification of this event. Clearly it was very a very traumatic event for Abib. He mentioned having to move a lot, and you got the impression that his father was someone who would pack that family up and move them on offering them no explanation other than their having to move. Abib said that, ‘they moved back to Somalia for a short time before being separated, and his father moving to Russia, before being reunited with his family in UK. Abib said that, ‘his father studied optics in the UK, but was unable to find the work that reflected his qualifications he settled for work as Co-ordinator in Somali Refugee Centre.

Again, I was aware of the movement in between different periods in his life, and difficulty he had in maintaining any sense of coherence between this great patchwork of experience. The stories seemed complete in themselves, but there seemed huge voids of time and space in between these stories. I decided to return to more recent events, and asked him what he did when he was pushed out of his home. He said that he went to the local Quaad shop. He said he left there at about six and headed to his friend’s house before going to play football at Southend football Club. I asked him whether he took Quaad, or any of the alcohol that he said that they sold there he said that he had not, and Abib seemed aware of the dangers of taking these drugs with his medication.