Impressions of
‘being-there’ in Two Colleges of Further Education where the majority of the
student body is not-White.
In this paper, I
hope to choose an area of psychotherapeutic literature which is relevant to my
own practice, and compare and contrast my own understanding of student’s
experience of ‘being-there’ in two different further education establishments
in a way that emphasises two points:
1. That
counselling and psychotherapy is an important and integral part of a young
person’s learning process; and,
2. That
counselling and psychotherapy in educational establishments where there are a
significant number of young people with ethnic identities that are not-White
need to address the possibility that it, too, can contribute to the development
of the ‘disaffected adult’ where the College fails to acknowledge the negative
of experiences ‘being-there’ can have in-relation with it’s students.
Unfortunately,
existential constituent of the psychotherapeutic literature that interests me,
(i.e. importance of race in interpersonal relations), seems very sparse to say
the least, but however, I hope to apply the central tenets of Existential
theory and practice to the description of students’ experiences of being in two
different Colleges. By this, I mean Husserl’s phenomenology, or
psychological-phenomenological reduction, which aims to provide as full a
description of the phenomena, (i.e. in this case the sense of powerlessness
within educational institutions), as possible without intellectualising about
the phenomena in the first instance. I seek to describe the student’s
experience of being-there in college without drawing on my own experience and
intellect to determine what this might mean for myself, nor the student. I rely
totally on the student’s interpretations of what is happening for them, without
evaluating the validity of these interpretations for myself, or any one else
(Husserl, 1990/1970). This places students’ experiences in context, (i.e. the College
of Further Education), and allows for further exploration which addresses their
concerns in environmental, social, personal, and spiritual modes of existence
(van Deurzen-Smith, 1997). These
subjective accounts of experience are always retrospective, but overtime, it
transpired that it was what past subjective experience might mean for the
student as s/he projects him/her self into future time and space that seems to
cause him/her concern (May, 1994, p65-71).
It must be said
that students have been referred to me, as the student counsellor because they
themselves, or their tutors, have discovered that their ways of
being-in-the-world appear to be interfering with the student’s learning
process. In other words, someone in authority has decided that the student is
behaving in ways, which do not allow the student to learn whatever is necessary
to complete the course, satisfactorily. The College decides what the criteria
for satisfactory completion are, and the student must then decide whether s/he
chooses to comply. Students are required to confirm. They are no more ‘free’,
in the Kierkegaardian sense, as they might wish to believe, than anyone else in
the Colleges. We are required to exist within the parameters set by the
college, parameters that bind us all. Learning where those parameters or
boundaries of existence are within the college environment is work we must all
consider and about which we must all make choices. In so doing, we may
experience what Boss refers to as ontology
guilt and by this I mean, guilt for not being authentic in-relation with
the world-around, our friends and family, ourselves, nor indeed, Allah (Boss, 1957).
During my
encounters with students, I hope to offer students the opportunity to look
closely at the way they are in-relation with the College, their peers and
members of staff, themselves, and with the goals in life. I might illustrate
this delineation and interrelatedness (Merleau-Ponty, 1945; Jaspers; 1968), by
referring to the experience of one of my client. The student is a 17 year old,
Bengali-speaking young woman who presents escorted by her tutor for
counselling. She begins by telling me about her experience being with another
student, and describing this experience as being emotionally distressing. She
said that, ‘whenever she passes this student she is met with jeers and
laughing, and she does not know why’. She says that, ‘she knows the students
who seems to be inciting this response but she doesn’t understand ‘why’ he’s
doing it’. Already, the client has decided that her experience of being there
with these other students, one of which she knows is both intentional and
purposeful. I enquire as to how she came to know this one particular student to
whom she seemed to referring to as the source of her discontent. The client
said that, ‘they used to talk a lot at secondary school, and that she couldn’t
understand why he was behaving in this way to her when they use to be such good
friends’.
So, we have a
situation that has arisen in the environment that is the College. The situation has arisen with her peers, one
of whom is known to the client. The client says that her experience of being
with this particular group of students affects her in a negative way, and that
this is due to the difference in her experience of being with one other student
in time and place. The client suggests that in spite of her efforts to find out
‘why’ this group of students are treating her this way, she is powerlessness to
effect change (Hoogendijk, 1988), and she goes on to suggest that the situation
is not likely to improve in the short or medium term. Here, the student has
created for herself a situation of dread as she projects herself into the
future. She fears the future, and what it might hold for her, and in an attempt
avoid this prospective experience or potential nothingness, she has sought help
and support from me (Sartre, 1956).
This for me,
provides the perfect opportunity to allow the student who is my client to think
for herself, and to learn from her own experiences. Student counselling takes
on educational role in that it allows students to review the prevailing
situations in which they find themselves with the view of ‘becoming’ someone
who will be better able to realise their own potential in a given context in
time and place (Heidegger, 1927+). So, to assume a position of powerlessness
without considering all possible options denies the possibility that we
ourselves may not be able to see all the possibilities that lay before us.
During our counselling encounters, it might be possible for both the client and
counsellor to look more closely at a situation or issue, and arrive at
possibilities that neither the client, nor the counsellor, would have arrived
at in isolation of each other (Buber, 1929/1947).
However, as a
student counsellor, I have been surprised by the extent to which different
educational establishments seem to differ in the extent to which they appear to
embrace the idea of counselling and psychotherapy as part an integral part of
the learning process. This view is based on the assumption that learning about
oneself in-relation with the world-around must surely prove beneficial to
society as a whole; not least of all, because it allows to young people to know
that it is alright to seek help and support in situation where they themselves
can see no way out. Working in two different educational establishments at the
same time, has given me as a counsellor the opportunity to gain some insight
into the way different students experience ‘being-there’, phenomenologically,
and the consequences that might have for the educational institution as a
whole.
Each College
contained a significant number of students whose skin colour was not-White. At
one College, I was able to work of students from both African and
Afro-Caribbean backgrounds, and at the other College, the student body was
mainly ‘Bengali-speaking’. I use the term ‘Bengali-speaking’ as opposed to
‘Asian’ as I believe that the term ‘Asian’ does not clearly delineate this
group of students, enough. Students herald from parts of Asia that speak
Bengali, (i.e. Bangladesh, Gujurat, Bengal, etc.,), as the main language, and
as such there is a commonality of culture and ethnicity that appears to be
communicated through their use of this language (Vygotsky, 1960; Derrida, 1978;
Lacan 1977).
There
were both similarities, and differences within, and between, both groups of
students’ experiences of being in College, but what struck me most were the
similarities, and differences, between their experience of being in College. In
both Colleges, students’ experience of being-there seemed to reflect the
integrity of the organisation that provides their education. Where the
organisation seemed to be experiencing organisational difficulties, very
similar difficulties seemed to be reflected in the students’ perception of
being-there. So, for instance, in one institution, students would complain
about their experience of the College, (i.e. listing organisational or
structural problems with which they found difficult to cope). These students,
too, seemed to identify areas of their own personal life in-relation with they
own families and friends, which they found difficult to cope. The College has become part of their
lived-worlds, and the students seek to influence the College in ways that do
not at first seem intentional; nor, purposeful. Concomitantly, the same
students seek to effect change in the structure and organisation of their
families, and/or friendships in ways, which do not seem intentional; nor even
purposeful in the first instance. So, I ask myself the question, do those
students who present for counselling with issues of marginalisation, isolation,
or alienation reflect their experience of being-there in the College, and is
that experience of being-there indicative of something with which the College
itself, grapples?
On observation, it would seem that
many of the students seem to associate with those who are they believe are most
like themselves. Students themselves have said during our encounters that they
tended to associate with those who share the views on dress, music, television,
gender, programmes, sport, etc, and can so do in a language that is, also,
shared (Sherif et al, 1961). This social delineation seems quite marked in both
Colleges where the majority of students are not-White. Students whose
parentage, and heritage appear to be the same, tend to spend most of their time
with each other. So, students whose parents appear to be working class, and who
share a common language, are more likely to associate with each other than
those who do not share the same socio-economic status, and/or language. Whilst
everyone else seems to be left to make their own association as best, they can.
I am reminded of Paul Gilbert’s (1992, p471) evolution of powerlessness and
prospect of immanent depression. To this end, I set this aside, and strive to
discover for myself, meaning in all these subjective experiences.
Students left to make their own
way in College seem to be either: (a) isolated and marginalised by the College;
students being a component part of the College; or, (b) they isolate and
marginalise themselves in-relation to factors about which they say they are
powerless to control, or influence. Exploring this experience in-relation with
individual students or groups of students seems important where the majority of
the student body present a dominant culture within the College that is not
shared by minority groupings.
So, Black students of Afro-Caribbean origin
seemed to share a view of their own existence that appeared to be very similar
to that experienced by White students whose parents were of similar
socio-economic status. All students’ talk about having gone to the same
secondary schools, living in similar housing accommodation, and spoke using a
language of shared meaning for themselves as a group. The kinds of personal
problems that were described and clarified within our therapeutic encounters
did not appear to vary, significantly, between these groups of students. But, I
did find that a number of students of African origin, who expressed concerns
being-there in-relation with both Black students of Afro-Caribbean origin, and
White counterparts, also, expressed concerns about feeling isolated and
alienated as a consequence of what they seemed to perceive as being ‘cultural
differences’. Clearly, this aspect of being-in-the-world, (i.e. that of social
comparison) (Festingner et al, 1950), needed further investigation as social
comparison seemed to be important for students and seemed to give rise to many
of the difficulties students experienced whilst at College.
Here, I am reminded of Locke’s
(1975) comments on the importance cultural difference in the process of human
understanding. Culture it would seem poses a number of possibilities and
limitations which may or may not be realised by individual students. So,
African students seemed to associate together according to shared language
and/or country of origin in much the same way as ‘Bengali-speaking’ students
seemed to do; irrespective of skin colour. However, the only significant
difference I could find between the students of African origin and ‘Bengali
–speaking’ peoples, and those students of Afro-Caribbean origin and white
counterparts was their response to familial expectation that they should do
well as students. By this, I mean that the kinds of issues raised were very
similar, and the extent to which such issues could affect their ability to
study did not appear to be, significantly, different. And yet, these groups of
students seemed to know very little about each other, and did not socialise to
any great extent: not even in the classroom.
Personally, I was struck by the
way students whose parents were from Africa or the ‘Middle East’ described
their experience of be-ing at both secondary school, and the College. Many
students who seemed to speak as if they had not been born in the UK, but who
dressed, differently, from the majority of other students would often described
their experience of be-ing at College as ‘a marginalising experience’. These
students would talk about not being invited to participate in the activities of
some students. These students seemed to prefer to associate only with those who
appeared to speak their language, or practice the same religion, and reflect
their experience of being ignored both inside and outside of the classroom.
Students spoke about the way the world affected them as something done unto
them, about which they had no control (Sartre, 1955). I might illustrate this
sense of marginalisation by referring to one student of Yemen origin who spoke
about the way both Black and white students at school would make fun of the
shape of his head (see Appendix A).
This student had had described to
me in great detail the incident in which he had incurred the physical damage to
his head. He described how he had tolerated the insults, the harassment, the
jeering all through secondary school. He described how, both he, and his older
brother, had developed a mental illness that was diagnosed, and treated at
secondary school, and how; when he remembered to, he continued to take the
medication prescribed whilst at College. Most pertinent to us both, seemed to
be the possibility that in spite of all this toleration on his part, he still
felt ostracised; alienated and isolated at College in ways that he was
powerless to effect change. Gilbert (1992) describes this kind personality as
one which strives cooperate and any inhibition of this motivation tends to
feelings of powerless, anxiety, and depression. He, also, described how; even
now at College, he could not speak openly about his experience terrorist
activity in his own country, and how he had incurred the damage to his embodied
self in this way.
You could argue that those who
would harass, and torment this student were not familiar with the means by
which this particular student had acquired the head injuries. Why should they
know? But that isn’t important. What seemed to be important to both student,
and subsequently, myself was the feeling of being isolated and alienated as a
result of something over which he had had no control, and about which, he could
have done nothing. The client’s physical and cultural differences seemed to
invite persecution, and yet he was not responsible of the presence of these
differences, nor was he able to confront the world-around without wanting to
disengage from it. Being-there for this person continued to be most difficult.
His physicality seemed to stand in the way of true authentic communication with
his peers in ways which he felt that he was powerless to change. The anxiety
and despair that he experienced in-relation with his peers; when projected into
the future turned to despair, despair which had resulted in his being referred
to a psychiatrist under whose care he has been since the age of eleven.
This experience of powerlessness
in-relation with the world-around, seems to be reflected in the life stories of
many students who present for counselling. Even when I visited tutorial groups
to identify, clarify, and describe; an as yet undetermined issue or concern,
students of all denominations seem to speak in ways that reflected their
powerlessness in-relation to, and with, their lived-worlds. On a physical
level, students would speak about the sense of powerlessness they felt
in-relation with the organisation, (i.e. organisational difficulties with
staffing, room allocation, lack of information from the College, etc). On a
social level, they would talk about the way their academic time-tables
conflicted with their social lives, and the way they were powerless to change
the time-table to fit around their social lives. On a personal level, students
would speak about the difficulty the experienced being with themselves. The
uncertainty of being confronted with someone else’s view of oneself and
wondering how s/he might come to such a viewpoint which appears to differ so
greatly from one’s own continues to invoke anxiety and the desire to hide
within oneself (Kierkegaard (1843/1954). On a spiritual level, students would
speak about the relation with the ‘ideals’ that they hold, and the emotional
difficulty they might experience in finding that other students may never share
the same views about the world. I might illustrate this last point by referring
to another client of mine.
This client is Bengali-speaking young
man. Born in Bangladesh, but came to England when he was very young. He went to
secondary school in England, and was not doing a course at College with the
view to going onto University, eventually. This student presented for
counselling having experienced what he described as ‘an unprovoked physical
assault whilst on the way to College’. The client reported the incident to the
police, but had heard nothing further. He had taken some time off College
because of the incident, and his tutor had advised him to seek counselling when
he did return.
Since, then we have moved on to
talk about his experience of being with his peers at College, and his friends
where he lives. He refers to his friends where he lives as the ‘area boys’.
Both groups of friends are Bengali-speaking, and he does not associate with
boys from different culture or ethnic backgrounds. This client seems to be
faced with a dilemma, which despite his efforts he seems unable to reconcile
within himself, and in-relation with his friends. “Cultural shift” seems to
have resulted in his friends not acting like ‘good Muslims’. By this, I mean
his friends seem to engage in a lot of activities that would be frowned upon by
the elders of the client’s community. The significance of this is that the client’s
own father is well respected in the local mosque and the client fears that
stories of his activities will get back to his parents and they will
disapprove. He says:
‘’My parents don’t want me to hang around with the ‘bad boys’….it
would be good if they went to the mosque to ask Allah’s forgiveness, but all
the want to do is smoke, play pool, and drive cars…I cant get them to go to the
mosque…I have tried asking them to come smoke a cigarette behind the mosque,
hoping that when they have finished they might go in to pray, but they
wont…….some will say that they will come to ‘Jummah’ on Friday at College but
they never come……’’
In
this discourse you can hear how the student struggles with what he believes his
parents would want him to be, and what his friends prefer to be. This is an
ongoing discussion in which he would find difficult to engage outside of the
counselling session. He has a different way of being that appears to be
dependent which group of people he is with. His identity is grounded in heritage:
a culture based on religion (Natanson, 1981). He seems reluctant to give this
heritage up for fear of losing his identity in the process. He searches for the
middle ground, by inviting his friends to participating in their cultural
heritage. They have refused, and yet he continues to be confronted with
different ways of being in the course of his everyday life in which seem
dependent on him giving up his heritage, and his religion. He is, clearly,
reluctant to so do, and this battle is seems to be reflected in the
descriptions of his everyday experiences during our encounters (Jaspers, 1968).
Such
factors are important because they reflect the students experience being-there in a particular stated
context. Mostly, students seem to speak about the way the world-around has
affected they ability to take action-in-the-world in a negative way.
Re-interpreting this experience such that students become placed firmly at the
centre of their experiences can be very difficult to hear: for not only the
student, but also the counsellor. But, such an approach could offer the student
the opportunity to re-construe his/her lived-world in a way where s/he is not
always the victim of somebody else’s actions-in-the-world. By this I mean that,
the powerlessness becomes a property of the circumstances or context in which
the students finds themselves, and not directly attributable to the students
themselves.
So, in-relation with those
students who presented with issues arising out of organisational constraints
for instance, together we could explore their experience of being in College,
itself. We could become to see the College as being a organisational structure
that appeared to be experiencing the same constraints as the students
themselves. And like the students, the College seemed helpless to effect change
in a positive way. (I consider the organisation to be ‘a living breathing
structure’ in that it ‘lives and dies’; and not, merely as ‘an inanimate
object’). The moral question as to whether any of this was ‘good’, and ‘right’
was not entered into; suffice to say that it seemed to be a shared experienced
rather than merely one where the students felt, persecuted.
The
students’ spoke as if they intended to then, persecute, the institution by
raising complaints with the College; and I must admit, it would have been my
duty as College counsellor help and support the students in so doing. However,
such procedures would have been futile in this instance, and the College’s
limitations in this matter had been reached. They could not provide any more
resources, for a number reasons, which I have no desire to go in to here.
Suffice to say that I acted with intention and purpose in asking these groups
of students to consider the possibilities for themselves in-relation with myself.
If, these were the prevailing circumstances, and they had experienced emotional
difficulties as consequences of these prevailing circumstances, what did they
think/feel was possible, and what did not? Here, emphasis has been changed from
one where the College is being asked to change the students’ experience of being-there, to one where the students
are being asked to consider how they themselves might change their experience
of being-there.
I
speak now as if I am an innocent bystander in this process, but really, I
should include myself in the group’s deliberations. I am indeed an integral
part of any decision-making that takes place during this time, and will almost
certainly contribute to any discussion on students’ possible actions in the
world, thereafter, simply by my being-there. I must accept this responsibility,
or remove myself from the discussion. It transpired that the students could do
much to change their experience of being-there
without relying on the College to the same extent as they had done, previously.
Together, we drew on our own personal resources, and decided that we take a
much more proactive role in the learning process as a group: rather than assume
the position of powerlessness in-relation with the College.
So far, I have spoken about
powerlessness as, if, it were a problem; a presenting issue, about which there
were moral implications. I know not whether being powerless is a ‘good’ or a
‘bad’ way to be in the world, but this way of being-in-the-world does seem to
invite particular responses on four dimensions of existence. I might refer to
those students whose worldview is such that their experience of their
lived-world is one of bullying and harassment. Some students accused of
bullying seemed to think that their actions-in-the-world were ‘funny’. ‘We were
only having a laugh’, they say. But how is it possible to view the same event
in such very different ways? In-relation with the students, a number of
different incidents involving different members of the groups of students, is
explored. From such explorations, I point out the possibility that some of us,
(i.e. we are in a group discussion), seem to find this way of
being-in-the-world ‘funny’, whilst others of us seem to become so offended that
we isolate and alienate ourselves in-relation with our peers. I say:
‘’Some students appear to have become victims of somebody else’s cruel
behaviour, and in so doing, try very hard to avoid and escape from this
behaviour. Some students have complained to the College, the College seems to
have responded by victimising the whole group; and yet, there are some of us
who are unchanged by this turn of events.’’
I reiterate
comments about the way security seem to be paying particular attention to the
activities of the tutorial group as a whole. I point out the way in which some
students appear to have shared experiences of other teachers and tutors. I
reflect back to the group the way their relationship with the tutor, (i.e. who
is always an integral part of any tutorial group), has deteriorated. And ‘how’
she, as an integral part of the tutorial group seems to have become victimised
by the both the group and the College. Clearly, the College’s perception of the
students has become such that it would seem to be very difficult to victimise one
aspect of the group without the whole group becoming victimised by the College.
Again,
the idea of powerlessness seems to have been transferred away from any one
individual, to something that is shared in-relation with his/her lived-world.
Th group comes to ‘know’ itself as a living breathing entity; inextricable from
each of its members until the group decides that it will not longer wishes to
exist for itself. The group may choose to do this directly, or indirectly.
However, the significance of each of its members plays a very big role in the
perception of the group by the rest of the College. The tutorial group is as
much in-relation with the College as each of its members. This takes on
different significance when we consider the nature of that group. How many of
this group does not originate from the UK? In Colleges where the population
reflects the communities in which the College is situated, the groups’
experience of being-there can have important consequences for the College
concerned.
Conclusions:
At the outset, I have portrayed
student counselling as an integral part of the learning process. I have
attempted to demonstrate how this might be possible drawing on my own
understanding of the literature and experience of being-there with student in
College and hearing the life stories about how they struggle with life’s
everyday mysteries. This struggle does not appear to be experienced in the same
way by everybody. Difference in life experiences, and ability to utilise our
own personal resources, all contribute to our ability to grapple with these
mysteries, constructively. All this ‘knowledge’ however is set aside during
counselling until, such time as light is shed on the issue, presented. To
assume that I know enough about the way one particular student reflects the
cultural diversity of the community to which we assume s/he belongs, invites
interpretations which bear little reflection on what is happening from the
student’s own perspective. Most learning occurs when both the clients, and the
counsellor, approach a presenting issue from a point of naivety. We both wait
to see what materialises and bring to bear our understanding to the situation
in ways, which will hopefully enable the student to cope better with this
presenting issue. It seems most worthwhile to assume, nothing.
It appears that the very nature of
the experience of different students within any given community, and within any
given College, becomes persecutory on a number of different levels, (i.e.
environmental, social, personal, and spiritual). Students’ experience of being
powerless to effect change in College, may be reflective of their experience of
being powerless to effect change in relation with their families, and/or their
friends. This may be reflective of existential guilt resulting in avoidance and
escape from the responsibility goes with their freedom to be (Kierkegaard,
1900/1954; Sartre, 1956; Tillich, 1952). Students of African and Bengali
Speaking origin seem to carry views on how they should relate to authority,
differently, to Black students of African Caribbean origin. However, being
confronted with different viewpoints within College can challenge such personal
views and opinions, forcing some students to confront their existential angst
as they consider redefining themselves in-relation with their peers, their
families, and the College.
I assume that it is too difficult
to hold both views within the same time and space without inviting loss of
personal integrity (Davidson et al, 1989, p357). It is further argued that unless
educational establishments’ are prepared to acknowledge the way students
compare their experiences of being-there with students within, and between
other Colleges (Sartre 1945; Festinger et al, 1950), they can not appreciate
the significance of their contribution to the process in which disaffected
adolescents, become the disaffected adults of the future.
References:
Buber, M., (1929) Between Man and
Man. (trans. R.G. Smith). London; Kegan Paul 1947
Davidson,
J., Zisook, S., Giller, E., and helms, M., (1989) Symptoms of Interpersonal
Sensitivity In Depression. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 30, pp357-368.
Derrida, J (1967) Writing and
Difference, trans. 1978.
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L., Back, K., Schachter, S., Kelley, H., and Thibaut, D., (1950) Theory and
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Dynamics Institute for Social Research.
Gilbert,
P., Depression: the evolution of powerlessness. Hove, East Sussex: Lawrence
Erlbaum Associates Ltd.
Heidegger, M. (1927) Being and
Time, trans J. Macquarrie and E.S. Robinson.
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Harper and Row.
Hoogendijk,
A. (1988) cited In, E. van Deuzen Smith. Everyday Mysteries; existential
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Husserl, E., (1900) Logical
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Jaspers, K., (1951) The Way to
Wisdom. Trans, R. Manheim.
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J., (1975) An Essay Concerning human Understanding. (ed.) C.B. Macpherson.
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Ellenberger (eds.) Existence. New Jersey: Jason Aronson Inc. Ch2
Natanson,
M., (1981) The Problem of Others in Being and Nothingness. . P.A. Schlipp (ed)
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Sartre. La Salle IL: Open Court.
Sartre,
J-P., (1945) The Respectful Prostitute. Tr. Kitty Black. In Stuart Gilbert
(ed.) No Exit and Three Other Plays. New York: Vintage.
Satre,
J-P, (1955) Being and Nothingness: a phenomenological essay on ontology Tr.
Hazel Barnes. New York: Washington
Sherif, M., Harvey, Harvey, OJ,
White B.J., Hood, WR., Sherif, C., (1961)
Intergroup
Conflict and Cooperation: The Robbers’ Cave Experiment.
Norman,
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Tillich, P., (1952) The Courage to
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Van
Deurzen-Smith, E., (1997) Everyday Mysteries: existential dimensions of
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Vygotsky, LS. (1978) Mind in
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Appendix A
Case
Study:
Abib
17year old Yemini student, who was studying GNVQ ICT Foundation with key
skills. He said that, ‘he was finding the course work easy. He said that he was
struggling with his ‘PowerPlan’ design’, but his tutor was helping him with
that and offering appraisal for my efforts. In my spare time, I play football
for ‘Boramwood’, and at the ‘Sobell Centre’. I, also, play football with other
Muslim lads after prayers at ‘
Abib was waiting for me
to arrive first thing one the morning, but I told him that I could only see him
there and then as I had not made an appointment for him at this time, and I had
to be somewhere else. He accepted my explanation. I assumed that I he got what
ever he had off his chest, he would be able to cope with his everyday life
until I could see him for an increased length of time.
As he began to tell the
events of the weekend, I began to realise that he was very chaotic in his
thoughts, monotonous, pressured in speech, rambling, and clearly struggling to
be there in the moment with me.
He spoke of a wedding in
had attended, and it seemed to concern him that he had not told his father
where he was going, nor had his father been invited. He said that he had been
thrown out of the family home by his father at approximately midnight when he
returned home from this wedding. He said that, ‘he had , aggravated his parents
by asking them for money, and said that he needed to find his own means of
earning money’. He presented names, and telephone numbers, of potential
employers (e.g. First Bowl, Books, etc., ), and seemed determined to find work,
and support himself within his own household. However, he complained about his
sister wanted to take over his room and he needed to reclaim this room for
himself and establish a quiet place for him to study in isolation of his
family.
I grew
concerned at the way he spoke, and communicated his thoughts. They seemed
complete in themselves and yet the propensity for overlap between different
events/situations seemed increased by the proximity of one scene to the next in
speech. I asked him when he had last taken his medication (Respirodone). Abib
said that, ‘he took one quarter of tablet two or three times a day’. I was alarmed
at his inability to say how much he was supposed to take, and at what time. I
asked him, ‘when he was next due to take his medication?’ He said that, ‘he had
not taken his medication this morning, and that he would go home and take his
midday medication’. I reinforced the view that he really needed to take his
medication at the moment. He seemed to agree that there were times when he
needed to take his medication, and he seemed knowledgeable too about then his
health was not deteriorating. I asked him to come back at 12:30hrs as I had to
be elsewhere. He agreed to come back at the appointed time.
When I did meet
him again, I asked him whether he had managed to take his medication’. I, also,
asked what else he ha done since we last met. He said that’ ‘he had gone to the
GP to get a form to apply for a
We moved to
talk about his psychiatric diagnosis, (i.e. manic depression), and how he came
to be in this way. He had spoke previously about being diagnosed at ‘
What seemed
interesting about this experience was the similarities in experience between
two different period in his life. He mentioned that, ‘he his family had been
wealthy and well connected with government bodies in
I did not press
him for greater details that offer might offer more clarification of this event.
Clearly it was very a very traumatic event for Abib. He mentioned having to
move a lot, and you got the impression that his father was someone who would
pack that family up and move them on offering them no explanation other than
their having to move. Abib said that, ‘they moved back to Somalia for a short
time before being separated, and his father moving to Russia, before being
reunited with his family in UK. Abib said that, ‘his father studied optics in
the UK, but was unable to find the work that reflected his qualifications he
settled for work as Co-ordinator in Somali Refugee Centre.
Again, I was
aware of the movement in between different periods in his life, and difficulty
he had in maintaining any sense of coherence between this great patchwork of
experience. The stories seemed complete in themselves, but there seemed huge
voids of time and space in between these stories. I decided to return to more
recent events, and asked him what he did when he was pushed out of his home. He
said that he went to the local Quaad shop. He said he left there at about six
and headed to his friend’s house before going to play football at Southend
football Club. I asked him whether he took Quaad, or any of the alcohol that he
said that they sold there he said that he had not, and Abib seemed aware of the
dangers of taking these drugs with his medication.